Tucker Carlson Shows Keith Olbermann Who’s Boss, Gets Huge Win Over Corporation As M&Ms Caves After He Called Them Out

Tucker Carlson got a huge win over Keith Olbermann when M&Ms chocolate announced that it is taking “an indefinite pause from the spokescandies after controversy over their rebranded appearances.

The company said: “America, let’s talk. In the last year, we’ve made some changes to our beloved spokescandies. We weren’t sure if anyone would even notice. And we definitely didn’t think it would break the internet.

“But now we get it — even a candy’s shoes can be polarizing. Which was the last thing M&M’s wanted since we’re all about bringing people together. Therefore, we have decided to take an indefinite pause from the spokescandies.

“In their place, we are proud to introduce a spokesperson in America can agree on: the beloved Maya Rudolph.

“We are confident Miss Rudolph will champion the power of fun to create a world where everyone feels they belong.”

Tucker said during his show on the candy controversy:

“The Brown M&M has, quote, “transitioned from high stilettos to lower block heels.” Also less sexy – that’s progress.

“M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous—until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them.

 “That’s the goal. 

”When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity. 

“They’ve won.

“Woke M&M’s have returned. The Green M&M got her boots back, but apparently is now a lesbian maybe? 

“And there’s also a plus-sized, obese Purple M&M. So we’re going to cover that, of course because that’s what we do.”

Keith Olbermann said: “M&Ms just folded to Tucker Carlson and his Jiminy Glick fascists.

“M&Ms just folded to Tucker Carlson and his Jiminy Glick fascists.

“Now, you’ve got the morons angry at you, AND you’ve got the rest of us ashamed of you.

“May your candy melt in the hot sun.”